paralysis

exit

ILL TEMPERED MAN
LIVES HERE

PLEASE DON'T STAY LONG

synthesis

antithesis

stuckinafrozenlake

an airbag saved my life* in an interstella burst i am back to save the universe computer drums bass wrong lift* is hard work you been stuck in a lift we been trying to reach you thom the belly of the whale (thanks Rei xxxx) paranoid android* get busy with the shakers while im fast asleep could you stop the noise im trying ta get some rest this the place it wont hurt ever again karma police* girl with hitler hairdo everybodys friend life in a glasshouse phew for a minute there i lost myself i lost myself sit down your safe now polyethelene*will never break down swirly self announcements. stuck in a frozen lake. the penultimate place in dante's hell. last flowers till the hospital*is a sign discovered in oxford -my unhealthy obsession with these institutions. analysts may get the connection. ambulances scream past my house at all hours of the day and night like the confessionals of Larkin's "Ambulan s." let down*in the midst of monster tour the momentum getting drunk to talk bombarded by dangerously high levels of radiation from xray machines. one day, one day... climbing up the walls*both managers and record company are nervous about such a nasty sound coming out of the speakers. this is a good sign. dogwander* bring on another take better than another cake. nude* it is a mans world. and this one is very confused and will have sex with anything woman who comes within a mile radius. but feels bad about it. so doesnt. exit song (for a film)* cannot be listened to more than once in a row. which made recording it easy. or not. but what film? big boots* it was a long time ago and i cant remember. a whole orchestra watching the film and playing along. real life is dull. i am i the white lotus flying off the quay with barbara bach.
(information incomplete)
....>>>>i like the idea of you listening to our recordings with your head resting gently in emptiness. or before going out. or when you've come back. i dont like the scientists breaking down its molecular structure and teaching it in O level chemistry i ont want to have expain it but it worries me stupid. there is a lot of crying goes into making things.<<<<.... the masters tell us that there is an aspect of our minds that is its fundamental basis, a state called "the ground of the ordinary mind." It functions like a storehouse, in which the imprints of past actions caused by our negative emotions are all store like seeds. when the right conditions arise, they germinate and manifest as circumstances and situations in our lives. if we have a habit of thinking in a particular pattern, positive or negative, then these tendencies will be triggered and provoked very easily and recurr and go on recurring. With constant repetition our inclinations and habits become steadily more entr ched and continue, increasing and gathering power even when we sleep. This is how they come to determine our life, our death our rebirth.

rebirth
paranoid android. in a bar in hollywood* the centre of the western universe, standing at the bar (social drinking) after doing the talk show bit. do you want to know this? this is what we aspire to is it? it is dark, there is a woman opposite me o is as sociably anorexic as her poodle, she looks desolate in her make up and lost eyes, next to her her husband boyfriend is persuading a younger fleshed half his age stewardess to come back to the hills to their mansion to sample his wine. she looks t him like he's a character in a hammer house horror. one of our friends spills a glass of wine over a vacuum packed gucci outfit complete with matching white hand bag. the witch goes crazy, we think it is fuunny. until we see the evil in her eyes. m friend is asked to leave. the gucci creature is the closest thing i have seen to the devil. the woman is possessed. i cannot sleep that night asking what we've got our selves into. voices talking like fax machines, hissing and spitting like demons, this is the master race. and now im part of it. anyway you didnt want to know that.

motion picture the pulsing of a life support system . that's as far as we've got.

lull there is nothing more dull. than talking talkin about yourself. what i meant to say. im sorry that i lost control. distracted and irrelevant. the stress and the tension. coming through the keyhole when. im in lull.

transport motorways and tramlines starting and then stopping taking off and landing the emptiest of feelings disapppointed peoople clinging onto bottles and when it comes its so so disappointing.

True love waits are you a virgin? every night we are haunted it paces up and down outside my room, it talks to me in its sleep. its in the tape going round and round. it stops and starts the tape machine. goes into record when it feels like it. just let it happen. just dont leave. dont leave. it waits patiently. mum left her 8 year old locked in for a week with lollipops and crisps. she had to work or forgot or something. stanley says. you, like everyone else need to feel important.

important
these people hoarded like cattle
comforting screaming babys and novels
staring straight ahead
in the panic the stewardess is desperate
she is shouting at the standing
those who demand their extra inches of space
first in the queue
packed in tomato sauce sardines with a bomb
none of the cattle stand a chance
the babys maintain their crying vigil
the upper class take comfort in their space and their upgrade
in the event of anything untoward they will proceed toward the nearest exit
in a dignified fashion
holiday makers at the end of the trip
tanned consumers with duty free
remember their experiences as best they can before it is too late

maKE peace with the world taking your seat on the plane
on this last flight out of new york this evening there is a bomb
children and families first please
excuse me have i got the window seat i asked for
i have to be able to see the ground
which is C?
neatly designed hand luggage
cattle herded to slaughter they hold their bags up and inch forward

bright gay colours appear sad and grey in the pressurised cabin
the feed is reheated

thesis

oes1
fitter, happier more productive

* comfortable
* not drinking too much
* regular exercise at the gym (3days a week)
* getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
* at ease
* eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
* a patient better driver
* a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
* sleeping well (no bad dreams)
* no paranoia
* careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
* keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
* will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
* favours for favours
* fond but not in love (girlfriends and wives)
* charity stanbding orders
* on sundays ring road supermarket
* (no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
* car wash (also on sundays)
* no longer afraid of the dark
* or midday shadows
* nothing so ridiculoiusly teenage and desperate
* nothing so childish
* at a better pace
* slower and more calculated
* no chance of escape
* now self-employed (his own man is_)
* concerned (but powerless)
* an empowered & informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
* will not cry in public
* girlfriends and wives
* less chance of illness
* tyres that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
* clean shaven
* a good memory
* still cries at a good film
* still kisses with saliva
* no longer empty and frantic
* like a cat
* tied to a stick
* that's driven into
* frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
* calm
* fitter, healthier and more productive
* a pig
* in a cage
* on antibiotics

oes2
polyethylene does not ever disappear it is highly flammable

*
* shrink wrapped
* yoghurt cartons
* cracking in the pipes
* there is no significant risk to the public
* pets in microwaves
* "washed up on the beach"
* estrogen dioxins
* ready in 3 minutes boil in a bag
* unleaded aluminium alzheimers
* poythene bags
* leukemia clusters
* nutrasweet
* insecticides
* colourants
* cling film
* there is no significant risk to your health
* there is no significant risk to your health
* there is no significance see for yourself
* close all your doors and windows till the cloud has passed
* benzedrine
* ritalin
* polypropylene
* the blood will wash off easily
* chlorine
* microwaves
* aluminium
* decaffeinated
* minor skin irritations
* styrofoam
* unleaded
* antibiotic pigs
* stuck in a frozen lake of polyethylene
* salmonella
* the water here's poison
* plastic is a disease
* if everyone took it all back to the supermarkets it came from
* they would get the message
* get the message?

oes3
.....the waterfall of gadgets family cars and paperback books.
irrelevant struggles
"as specific causes of disease disappear, a growing proportion of people die of what are called stress diseases, or diseases of degeneration caused by stress, that is, by the wear and tear resulting from conflicts, shocks, nervous tension, frustration, bilitating rhythms.."
that's real life. my everyday life.
What about this feeling of never really being inside your own skin? Let nobody say these are minor details or secondary points. There are no negligible irritations: gangrene can start in the slightest graze. A man carried along by the crowd, which only e can see, suddenly screams out in an attempt to break the spell, to call himself back to himself, to get back inside his own skin. The tacit acknowledgments, fixed smiles, lifeless words, listlessness and humiliation sprinkled in his path suddenly sur into him, driving him out if his desires and his dreams and exploding the illusion of being together. People touch without meeting; isolation accumulates but is never realised; emptiness overcomes us as the destiny of the crowd gathers. the crowd drags e out of myself and installs thousands of little sacrifices in my empty presence......

after Raoul Vanegeim the revolution of everyday life